do not touch me without my consent
do not touch me without my consent
do not touch me without my consent
do not touch me without my consent
do not touch me without my consent
do not touch me without my consent
do not touch me without my consent
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- Me: Exercise
- Me: Exercis
- Me: Exerci
- Me: Exerc
- Me: Exer
- Me: Exe
- Me: Ex
- Me: Extra fries
If My Dog Could Talk
- Dog: WAT DOING
- Me: Nothing. I just stood up.
- Dog: WHERE GO
- Me: I'm literally walking 3 feet away. I'm not even leaving the room.
- Dog: CAN I COME
- Me: I mean sure but I'm literally just-
- Dog: I COME TOO
- Dog: WAT DOING
- Me: I need to open this door.
- Dog: I HALP
- Me: No but you're in front of the door. Move please.
- Dog: I HALP
- Me: Sigh.
- Dog: WHERE GOING
- Me: I am going right back to the exact place I was sitting a second ago.
- Dog: CAN I COME
- Me: Sure.
- Dog: I SIT IN LAP
- Me: No please don't you are-
- Dog: I SIT IN LAP
- Me: No there's no room and-
- Dog: LAP
- Me: No, sit on the floor and I'll pet you.
- Dog: RIGHT HERE
- Me: That's literally on top of my leg.
- Dog: IT'S PERFECT PET ME
- Me: I am petting you. One second, let me just grab my glass-
- Dog: PET ME PET ME PET ME PET ME
- Me: I literally am petting you, I just needed a drink-
- Dog: PET ME PET ME PET ME PET ME
- Me: I AM
- Dog: I SIT IN LAP
- Dog: PET ME PET ME PET ME
- Dog: HOLD SLOBBER TOY
- Dog: SNEEZE IN UR FACE
- Me: .......
me: *smirk in class*
teach: wat u smirk abot
me: o nothing
me: *in mind* titty
me: *smirk in class*
teach: wat u smirk abot
me: o nothing
me: *in mind* titty
- literally anyone: *tells me a story*
- me in my head: i wonder why spongebob is still single? he seems like a good guy. he has a permanent job and owns his own house. he's funny too.... a good quality to have in a boyfriend. is it because he can't drive? he tried :/ or is it because he loves krabby patties so much and wont let love in. either way at least he has gary :)
- me: yeah cool
- me: *sick*
- me: *goes on the computer*
- parents: OH I GUESS SINCE YOU'RE ON THE COMPUTER IT MEANS THAT YOU'RE PERFECTLY 100% BETTER NOW GO TO SCHOOL AND GRADUATE AND GET A JOB AND GET MARRIED AND DIE
i gotta carry my phone around with me 24/7 just in case nobody texts me
2000disgusting